Ahaghh me hearties! I might not have a parrot on me shoulder or a wooden leg. But if you come along and join me and my maties, the Landguard Fort professional pirates, I promise not to rob you of a fantastic time here. Go on - give us a try! Fun and games all round. Best of all, I can teach you to talk like a pirate! Then you can really impress your friends at school. Ha, ha, ha.
PS: I promise not to cut any legs off!